3-ingredient Gluten-free Corn Fritters for Kids

These are yummy. Served here with plum sauce they’re also nice with sweet chili. You can fancy them up a bit by adding coriander and healthy stuff, and eat them with a salad if you want to pretend like you’re doing good. This is also an excellent meal for poor students who find themselves with nothing but an old tin of corn, flour and sauce in the cupboard.


1 tin creamed corn or 1 tin whole-kernal corn
Gluten-free flour (you can use regular flour if you want)
Baking powder
Oil for frying


Whole-kernal corn: Tip the entire contents of your can into a bowl, add 1 cup of gluten-free flour and roughly 2 teaspoons baking powder*. Fry in oil until golden. Salt. Serve.

Creamed corn: Tip the entire contents of your can into a bowl, roughly 3/4 cup of gluten-free flour and roughly 2 teaspoons baking powder*. Fry in oil until golden. Salt. Serve.

*Adjust ratios if need be to ensure you have a doughy consistency.


Red Chai

Beautiful. Brew up a batch for friends. I’ve been wanting a caffeine-free chai for so long. Rooibos (red bush) tea makes a lovely alternative. It’s also fine for children and a lovely dessert tea. Perfect served with fruit toast and Kere’s bliss balls. Dedicated to my sis.

Chai tea brings peace.

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1 stick cinnamon
12 sticks of cloves (more if desired)
6 cardamon pods
1/4 inch fresh ginger (peeled)
2 tablespoons fair-trade rooibos (red bush) tea or 4 bags, opened up and added
7 cups water
ground pepper (optional)

1 cup soymilk (I prefer Soymilky)
2-5 tablespoons sugar (I prefer 2, but chai is supposed to be served super-sweet)


In a pot on the stove, boil cinnamon, cloves, cardamon, ginger, tea and water. Add pepper if desired. Boil for 5 minutes then stand for 10. Add soymilk and sugar. Strain into teacups to serve.

A MAR-MIGHTY Discovery…

Sorry if that’s too CHEESY…

You know all that money you’ve been spending on expensive nutritional yeast?

You know how you had to tell your provincial friends you made cheesy sauce out of weird ingredients that they can’t source in their town?

Well not any more.


Teaser trim

(picture us, dancing)


3 tablespoons vegan margarine
3 tablespoons cornflour
2 cups soy milk
2 teaspoons mustard
1 teaspoon Marmite
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon sugar


Melt margarine on the stove. Stir in cornflour until there are no lumps. Slowly stir in soy milk. Simmer until thickened. Stir in mustard, Marmite, sugar, and salt. Thin to desired consistency with soy milk.


Great in lasagna, on pizza, nachos, mac ‘n’ cheese, in burgers or on wedges.

Welcome back, Marmite! We missed you!

And no, we ain’t getting paid for this… (please pay us).

Marmite Drought Ends!


Simple Yoghurt Smoothie

Actually this is not a yoghurt smoothie, because it contains no yoghurt.

It just tastes like it does. It’d probably make good ice cream. Try it!



2 bananas
2 juicy plums
Soy milk (I prefer Soymilky, it has the best flavour)



Inspired by Craig.

Banana-almond Thickshake



3 ripe bananas
2 handfuls almonds
2 teaspoons cocoa


Put bananas in the food processor, with a dash of vanilla, cocoa, two handfuls almonds and blend. Slowly drizzle soymilk in until you reach the desired thickness and everything is well mixed. Enjoy!

Flawless Tofu Bacon

This is utterly perfect.

I was surprised. The ratios are bang on!

It is perfect on Mac ‘n’ Cheese, and would be great on pancakes with fried banana and maple syrup, or on salad, bagels or in a BLT.

Please make some.

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Use firm tofu. A good quality tofu will even crisp up like bacon. I skipped the nutritional yeast, not necessary.


Chocolate-dipped Pretzels

Pretzels are so weird and foreign, but such a stupidly obvious snacking solution

So anyway, on Dino Day, Mum whips out these sneakily little fuckers. Boy they’re delicious. I awoke at 8am on Boxing Day with a burning desire to recreate the snacking sensation. Mum walks in and witnesses the frenzied kitchen-cum-sweat-shop of chocolate-pretzel manufacture.

“Oh! Are those presents?”

“Um… yeah. “Presents”.”

‘For my pancreas.’

Chocolate, salt and wheat. The only thing that would make these more perfect is if some genius managed to amalgamate them with fried potato.





Melt the chocolate. Dip the pretzels in the chocolate. Place the dipped pretzels on cooking paper. Bang them in the fridge.

P.S. You don’t need heaps of chocolate.

Best Pancake Recipe Ever-In-The-World-Ever

I have to make a note of this.

I haven’t taken any pictures but this is truly the lightest, fluffiest, most fantastic pancake recipe ever.

I’ve added peanut butter and sultanas – you don’t have to.

I will never use another pancake recipe again.


1 cup flour
2 tablespoons sugar (I prefer powdered sugar)
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoons salt
1 cup water
2 teaspoons egg replacer or tapicoa starch blended with 2 tablespoons water
1/2 cup sultanas (optional)
2 tablespoons peanut butter (optional)


Mix everything. Fry in margarine or oil. Serve with syrup. Wow, just wow.


Q. What is the difference between a pikelet, a hotcake and a small pancake?

A. Who the f**k cares!

Here is some more traditional food for you. These were named pikelets or drop-scones by our fair-skinned ancestors.

Enjoy them with maple syrup, agave syrup, golden syrup, treacle, berries, sliced fruit, margarine, cinnamon, brown sugar, lemon juice, jam and/or cream… go crazy. The traditional way to eat them is the cream/jam way, as part of afternoon tea, but everyone likes syrup, so feel free to dis-inhibit yourself.


1 cup soymilk
1 teaspoon of vanilla essence
1 cup plain flour
1 tablespoon of corn flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
2 teaspoons of sugar to taste
a pinch of salt
oil for frying


Whip up the batter. Fry ‘n’ flip tablespoon-sized portions of batter in hot oil. Serve warm drizzled with margarine and anything else you fancy.

Short-crust Pastry Cases

These are fun, easy, child-friendly, and you can fill them with anything.

Ideas: bean stew, pumpkin and tofu, lentil/mushroom stew – whatever you fancy.

I filled these with delicious tofu scramble and made a quick relish to go with them.

They make a delightful Saturday-morning breakfast, and are a good way to use up that small ball of pastry that everyone-in-the-world has sitting in their freezer.



For savoury pastry

1 cup margarine
2 cups flour
2-3 tablespoons water

For sweet pastry
Include 1 tablespoon sugar


Blend into dough using food processor. Roll into a ball and refrigerate for half an hour. Roll and use as regular pasty.

To make the cases I simply cut rough squares of flat pastry and press them into a non-stick cupcake tray. Bake on high until crispy and golden, then fill while warm.


1/2 cup whole peeled tomatoes, mashed
1/4 onion, chopped
1 clove garlic, chopped
Brown sugar, to taste
Salt, to taste
Mustard, to taste
Black pepper to taste


Cook onions, garlic and tomatoes on the stove top. Once reduced and appearance is “saucy” add sugar, mustard, salt and pepper. Serve warm.